Monday Musings #20: The Art of Relaxation

Before I had my mental breakdown in March of this year, I thought I had never had much trouble relaxing, but the problem was, I did. When it’s the weekend and you end up doing nothing different from during the weekdays, then something is wrong. I found myself still making To-Do lists and feel like I needed to do something meaningful, but totally forgot that relaxation in itself is very meaningful.

Letting go of the word “Must”.

One of the biggest lessons I learned is to let go of of the word “Must”. 
“I must write today”, “I must finish my book”, “I must watch the new episode of The Mandalorian”. All examples of things I’d compulsively put on To-Do lists. Things that make you wonder, in hindsight, why did I ever write down such things on a list in the first place? Especially if those things are meant to be for relaxation. Yes, writing is and should be a relaxing thing, besides being work. 😉

Do nothing

This is something Bren and I are still struggling with and something that can be really counterproductive, because if you have the feeling that you must do so much things and only get little of it done, you’ll feel really bad about yourself in the long run.

Last weekend there were something things that really needed to be done, but with our clan eldest Mysty not feeling well and going to the vet with her a few times last week, I didn’t really feel like doing much this weekend. My worries for her health and recovery had worn me out a little, so I allowed myself to not do anything this weekend, besides that which was really necessary. Did I still write? Yes, a little. Did I still finish a book? Yes, I did. Did I watch the new episode of the Mandalorian? Yes, I did. Did I write those things down on a To-Do list? No. These things all came naturally, when I felt like doing them, without any pressure. And even if I hadn’t done any of those things, I’m certain my weekend would’ve been very relaxing.

You don’t always need to be sociable

Another lesson I learned, by removing Facebook from my mobile phone and only being able to go on Facebook when I’m working on my laptop is that you don’t always need to be sociable. After Friday I didn’t touch my laptop until today and when I got onto Facebook, I found out I had missed very little. We tend to have a feeling of missing out when we’re not online 24/7, but the truth is that if you were to miss something urgent, or important it’s very unlikely your friends will only post it on social media. So never feel bad for not liking any posts during the weekend. If it was important, they would’ve shared it with you in another, better way.

Getting another week started

Now that I’ve got a new workweek ahead of me, I’ll try to share some things I’ve been up to lately, regarding writing novels and our book blog The Book Dragon’s Nook. But that’s for another post later this week! 😉

Hope you all have a good week!

~Jeffrey

2 replies »

  1. Jeffrey, Good reflections. Before you took your break from work, I thought you really had it together & your life programmed from meditation, six day diary, to writing & all the rest. What you say now about not living by “musts” & spending less time being “sociable” sounds more livable than your previous schedule. You mentioned you finished writing your latest book. I knew you were close long ago, especially after NaMoWri….something last November 2019 writing up a storm with “The Great Fudgewhizzle” I believe it was. Phil

    Like

    • Hi Phil! Yes, I did almost finish that book “The Great Fudgewhizzle”, but I have put that one in the “freezer”, since I wasn’t satisfied with the original ending. Ever since I changed to writing something much closer to my heart, a novel about a man with a similar age as mine, who is suffering from a terminal disease, but is given a final chance to leave a mark on this world. That novel is nearing completion, as I’m at about 70% of the way of the manuscript, I think. But I’m doing it at my own pace, without feeling that I MUST finish it. That’s why I refrained from participating in NaNoWriMo this year as well. Good observations, as always, Phil! ~Jeffrey

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